Induction Day

Show's over! I'm heading the the hospital at 4:00 today. We will start with one round of cervidil to get ripen my cervix. I'm extremely nervous and ready to get the next two days over with. Here's hoping the cervidil is enough to get labor moving and we won't have to do a round two or pitocin!

Stir Crazy

Seriously.....this is hard.

I'm 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant with no end in sight. Okay, that's not true. I know my doctors won't let me go past 42 weeks. June 9....It's May 31.

I can't sleep and I'm certainly not hungry. When my stomach growls, I cringe at the idea of cramming one more thing in my body. I don't want to eat because there's no room plus I know eventually it's going to make me feel like I have to go to the bathroom. Every time I have to go to the bathroom I wonder if the pressure is the beginning of labor.

It's so cruel.

I've never paid so much attention to every little twinge my body makes or feels.

I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if my fear of induction weren't so great, if my body was showing some signs of progress, if my doctor's appointments weren't still scheduled a week apart and if I were still working and not just sitting around.

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting

So as I'm typing waiting, I hear this playing in the background;

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

-John Waller

God works. I guess I just need to continue to have faith that my body will do what it needs to do.

Until then I will pray and wait....and try not to fear and dread.

Home Induction....Take One

I never thought I would make it to 40 weeks 1 day. I'm not sure why because, as the doctor explained to me, 50% of women go past the 40 week mark with their first baby. *sigh* Baby Tilley, I'm so ready to meet you.

Today I went to Katie's house to see her and Jude. Mom came too. She flew in from AZ 3 days ago to help out with the baby....yeah...the one that's never coming out. Mom hung out for a bit and got to meet Jude. When she left Katie and I gorged ourselves on pizza and whipped up some lactation bars. Okay, so Katie made the lactation bars but I kept the chairs warm while I watched.

While I was at Katie's we were discussing a supplement she was taking and it occurred to me that I should take a supplement to help thin out my cervix. As of 39 weeks 6 days I'm only 50-60% effaced and no dilation. So on the way home, mom and I stopped in to see Steve A. and swung by Trader Joes. They had no raspberry leaf tea but they did have evening primrose oil....I bought it....We'll see how it goes.

Meanwhile, I'm off to find the tea and consider the castor oil. Does that work with no dilation??

Rapture

A minister has decoding the Bible and says the world is going to end today.....at 6:00.

On this day I am........

1. Spending it with my husband. He has a long weekend which is a rarity in our house.
2. Sending out the last of almost 100 Thank You notes. People are so generous.
3. Cleaning the house in preparation for my mom. She'll be flying in from Arizona and spending the next 3 weeks with us to help with the baby.
4. Anticipating that this will be my last weekend baby free. I'm not sure how I feel so certainabout this as I also feel certain that the baby won't be here until June. Doesn't make much,I know. We Tilley's are always fashionably late!

On this day I should be....

1. Packing my hospital bag. This has been on my to do list for WAY too many weeks.
2. Cleaning out the cars and installing the car seats. This also has been on the to do list for WAY too long.
3. According to everyone else......resting as much as possible. This one also does not make sense to me because supposedly you can't "bank" sleep.

On this day I wanted to....

1. Go to Boone and walk around the shops and have lunch. We slept too late and I know how everyone will feel about me being 39 weeks 2 days pregnant and so far from home. Sigh.

Maybe when the baby is here.

38 Weeks 3 days

Still no progress. Baby Tilley is making no plans to come out soon. I can't complain though because I'm still feeling good. I'm up 14 pounds, only want to eat sweets and I can't sleep through the night. All in all, it's been a pretty good pregnancy.

Now I'm just ready to know if Baby Tilley is a James Connor Tilley or a Lydia Elaine Tilley. Either way, his/her feet are going to look like this.

And he/she is going to be this tall.

35 Weeks 4 days

I just went back and read my 20 week blog......let's update.

1. Felt the baby move for the first time on December 18th.

Update: You never stop moving - I joke that you'll be born 40 inches long. I feel your bum on the right side and your feet on the left side and I'm not entirely convinced that you aren't using my hips as punching bags.

2. Wearing all maternity pants now but still proud to say I can wear my regular pants.....just not comfortably.

Update: Everything I wear is maternity. If I put on anything that's not maternity my stretch mark covered belly hangs out and the shirt bunches at the bottom. I'm still excited to say that I'm only up 13 pounds!

3. Hungry all the time.

Update: Still hungry all the time but rarely can I eat a full meal. I eat a little and then finish my meal 30 minutes later. You have officially taken over my entire midsection.

4. The place where I had my belly button pierced when I was 18 is once again visible! LOL! I wonder if my innie will turn into an outtie?

Update: My innie is an outtie sometimes. Every night at 9:30 you start to squirm up a storm. If you position your bum just right you pop my belly button right out! I didn't know where my belly button ended before you came along.

5. Feeling really great. The exhaustion is completely gone.

Update: The exhaustion is back and has been for about a month and a half. I nap in the afternoons when I can. I don't sleep well at night. I constantly toss and turn. I wake up a couple times a night to go the bathroom and usually discover that my legs and/or arms are asleep. I typically trip and catch myself on the wall. I'm scared of the day I miss the wall and just fall flat on my rear. I also hurt all over. My tail bone hurts and so do my hips. It hurts the worst when you start kicking up a storm.

6. I wouldn't say I've got cravings but I'm always thirsty and fruit is very appealing to me...especially bananas.

Update: I'm still thirsty and I still want fruit as well as anything else that is sweet. I didn't have cravings before but now I want to eat everything. My life has never revolved around food the way it does now!

I'm nervous about having a baby of my own. I'm terrified of the changes to come. My world as I know it will never be the same.

20 Weeks

Holy Cow! Half way! I'm officially halfway through my pregnancy. Last week we had the ultrasound to check the anatomy and determine the baby's sex. We decided not to find out the gender.

Some days it doesn't even feel that I'm pregnant. My weight gain is less than two pounds and I barely have a belly. I'm good with that though. All in good time!

I kept putting things off until after the ultrasound and now here we are. This week I've put a lot of time into planning the nursery and picking a name.

For a boy I'm still stuck on the name Max and for a girl Ava or Coraline. We're still stumped on all things middle so we'll see how it turns out.

Next on my list: Research birthing and breastfeeding.

Pregnancy Highlights

1. Felt the baby move for the first time on December 18th.

2. Wearing all maternity pants now but still proud to say I can wear my regular pants.....just not comfortably.

3. Hungry all the time.

4. The place where I had my belly button pierced when I was 18 is once again visible! LOL! I wonder if my innie will turn into an outtie?

5. Feeling really great. The exhaustion is completely gone.

6. I wouldn't say I've got cravings but I'm always thirsty and fruit is very appealing to me...especially bananas.